Catch Up

Well, it's been a very long time and long past time for an update.

1. Jereme and I hit our one year mark. Some days it feels there's no way we've been together this long...other times it feels like it's been much longer (in a good way lol).

2. Mom and Burgundi are living with us now. They packed up and moved to Oregon in August and are living with us until they get on their feet and can get their own place. Mom started a new job about a week or two ago that she seems to really like so far, which is definitely good.

3. We're PREGNANT!!! We're 14 weeks and 2 days now and incredibly excited. We've started collecting clothes and blankets and diapers (we're cloth diapering) for the new baby and trying to figure out names. We've decided on a girl name but can't decide on a boy's. Which could be interesting because I'm almost positive it's a boy.

Tonight's dilemma however is the what-we-need-for-baby list. I'm trying to figure out what all we need for the baby so I know what to register for and what we need to try to get over the next few months before he gets here. Here's what I've got so far, let me know if you can think of anything I'm missing. I divided it into categories to help me keep track and try to think of things I'm missing.

Sleeping:

crib sheets

receiving blankets

crib skirt

mobile

heavier type blanket

mattress protector

crib teething guard

Changing

changing pad for home

changing pad for travel

baby wipes

hand sanitizer (travel)

wet bag for home

wet bag for travel

bleach wipes

disinfectant spray

diaper rash ointment

baby lotion

cloth diapers

detergent

diaper bag

Feeding

breast pump

bottles

nipples

pacifers

burp cloths

nursing pillow

Safety

baby monitor

outlet/power strip covers

baby gates

ear thermometer

nasal aspirator

Bathing

bath tub

rubber ducky

baby shampoo

tub thermometer

tub spout cover

hooded towels

wash cloths

storage basket for tub

Clothing

onesies

gowns/layettes

pajamas with footies

mitten covers

jackets

socks

carrier - wrap, sling, etc

Playing

educational toys (birth+)

swing

bouncer

toy box

Furniture/Big Items

crib

mattress

changing table

stroller

car seat

glider

high chair

Miscellaneous

moses basket

curtains

Jereme Has a New Toy

So when we bought our house and were getting ready to move, Jereme and I agreed to throw away our bbq as it had been rained on and used as an ashtray and generally abused. Between the rust and the broken shelf, we agreed it wasn't worth salvaging or moving.

Which of course means we didn't have a bbq for this year. Since we have air conditioning now, it wasn't a huge deal but Jereme likes to bbq and I love to let him since it means I don't have to cook!

Anyway, since I'm going back to school (next week! eek!) and my loan disbursal would more than cover tuition, we started looking at bbq's while we were at Walmart. We were going to get a propane bbq so it would cost less money to run, but Jereme found a bbq/smoker that he really liked, so we decided to go with that one. It's pretty solidly built which is definitely good and since we have a concrete covered patio, it should last several years at the very least. So dinner tomorrow night is on Jereme! No cooking for Trin! Woo-hoo!!

Projects...Lots and Lots of Projects

So I know I've been slacking in the blogging department lately, but this time I really do have an excuse. Promise. I've been jumping from project to project and trying to keep myself busy and mind too occupied to think too much. Some days I wish I could just snap my fingers and magically get what I want.

I've had some ups and downs and some days are easier or harder than others, but I'm managing. Jereme's being wonderfully supportive and trying to help as best he can when I have a bad day or hour. But anyway, my projects...

The first one I decided to tackle with part of our tax returns. I haven't liked the color of the living room since we moved in back in October. Jereme didn't mind it but I really didn't like it. It was an odd salmon, pink color. See?

It could have been worse, but I still didn't like it and wanted to change it. So I did. Our living room was chaos for about 36 to 48 hours, but I think the end result was worth it. How about you?

It was a lot of blue and I felt like we lived in a sailboat for a while but now that everything is back in place it looks much better.

Project Number 2 was creating something to go in the little nook that, as shown in the picture, pretty much just held a mirror and the floor steamer since we moved in. Now it's useful and much more appealing to the eye:

Now we just need to stock that wine rack and get some more wine glasses, preferably ones that match. I'm contemplating putting a carafe or a decanter on the top shelf so it doesn't look as empty.

And my projects don't stop there. When I finished the living room and started getting restless, I made a trip to Bi-Mart and planted the front flowerbed so the house doesn't look empty and neglected anymore.

I like it. Speaking of flowers, does anyone know what these are? They're in our backyard and I've been trying to figure out what on earth they are.

Then after finishing that flowerbed, my new washer and dryer got here. Yay! Wanna see?

Aren't they pretty?? I absolutely love them. I've been finding every excuse in the book to do laundry. I'm washing everything. But now, I need to go eat lunch and then tackle the garden because apparently I started the seeds too soon inside because they're getting too big to stay in their little sections in the planter and I need to get them in the ground before they start to suffocate each other. They're all growing really well though which is good. I'll post some pictures of my pretty garden when I'm done :)

The Countdown Begins!

So last week our dryer died. Completely. I started the washer and dryer and walked away, came back an hour later and the washer was done but the clothes in the dryer were still wet. No biggie, the dryer's been known to act up and I've learned to deal with it. Set the timer, press start...nothing happens. Press it again...nothing. Open and close the door, reset the timer, try again...still nothing. At this point, I was pissed. It was late, my clothes for work were in the dryer and it refused to start! Jereme came to check on me due to the slamming and yelling coming from the back of the house and made me walk away to calm down. He spent about thirty minutes trying to make the dryer work with no luck. He eventually gave up and unplugged it.

Then the "conversation" began. Do we cave and buy a new dryer? Can we afford a new dryer? Do we try to find a laundromat to use? Am I willing to use a laundromat until we can afford a dryer? Not really. Then we actually looked...the nearest laundromat is in Corvallis. Not okay.

So we ordered a new washer and dryer. I like them. A lot. Here's the washer and here's the dryer.

Of course, after ordering the washer and dryer, we plugged the dryer in and pressed "Start" to see what would happen and lo and behold -- it started. Of course. After I strung ribbon across the living room to use as a clothesline (we don't own any rope).

The good news is that at least we have a working dryer until the new appliances get here. Well, semi-working. It's latest thing is either never stopping (the timer is broken now) and/or not drying at the right temperature so it takes two or more hours to dry a load of laundry. But I'm dealing. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank God.

So...EIGHT days to delivery!! Woo-hoo!!!!!

Too Much Information - Not Enough Calm

So, although I'm relatively sure no one really wants to know what's going through my head lately, I'm going to share anyway because I've been trying to keep my head up for weeks now and right now is one of those times that I'm just trying to get through the next hour...or five minutes. I'll take either.

I've been having a hard time lately. Things seemed fine and a few people I know found out about pregnancies, but it wasn't a big deal for me. I was excited for them and looking forward to my turn and life was ok. I wasn't flipping out about it or crazy jealous, I was just happy for them and continued on with my life without too much of an issue. Then this month hit.

I fell like I've run into a brick wall. About six times. As hard as I tried not to get my hopes up, I did. Me, the girl who has never had an issue with her reproductive system (tmi I know) was three weeks late. Three WEEKS. And all the doctor would do was continue to have me come in once a week for a urine test. All of which were negative. Oh, and tell me that with my symptoms (nausea, vomiting, headaches, fatigue and heartburn), if I was indeed not pregnant then usually they would look for ovarian cancer but that I'm apparently too young for ovarian cancer. So apparently cancer has an age limit now?! I really like my doctor normally, but with this fiasco...I don't know. I'm still nauseous, dizzy at certain times and fatigued but I don't know what to do. Should I try to find an OB/GYN? I'm going to need one eventually but it's $40.00 a visit. Plus whatever insurance refuses to pay on whatever tests are run, if any.

Then through all of this...a girl in my department at work is apparently five months pregnant, an old friend just had her baby and is speaking to me now so I hear about him on a regular basis, another friend of mine just found out she's seven months pregnant...it feels like I'm surrounded by pregnant women. And it's so hard. Here I am, terrified that something is wrong. Something that could cost me my hopes for ever having children of my own (without paying a fortune for fertility treatments). Yet seemingly every time I turn around, someone else is pregnant. Most of them are unmarried, unemployed or with a dead-end job, and on birth control. How is this fair?! I know it's only been four months, almost five now, but after everything that happened this month...I'm barely holding on.

Now, to try to distract myself and lower my stress level, I'm jumping from project to project and just trying to get through whatever period of time I can handle at once, be it 24 hours or 24 seconds. Right now is one of those 24 second times...

What's worse is I've now drained the budget I had set aside for projects so I'm trying to find project that keep me physically and mentally busy without costing anything. Rather difficult when so far all I've come up with is painting, decorating the house (finally), and establishing my garden. Even scrapbooking isn't keeping my mind occupied.

I'm at a loss. And no one really knows how to help me. I don't even know how to help me. I keep being told one of two things: 1. "Everything's fine. Your turn is coming. Maybe this month is the month." or 2. "Maybe this is just a sign you aren't fully ready yet. If you're stressed about money and everything now, then maybe you should take a break and stop trying to get pregnant for a while." Neither of these two lines of advice are helpful or in any way encouraging. I appreciate the thought but in this frame of mind, those things are the last things I need or want to hear.

Thank God for Jereme. Through all of this and all of my psychosis, he's been following my lead and doing what he can - even if it's just holding me while I sob...again.

Time for an Update - and a Promise

I've been neglectful of you lately blog. I'm very sorry. I've been thoroughly stressed out and not coping with it very well. I promise to do better. Well... try to do better anyway.

I do have good news though! The Mazda was indeed a cheap repair. Well, relatively cheap. Came out to $204.65. Apparently our transaxle had wiggled loose and let all of our transmission fluid drain. Good thing I had it towed to the mechanic. So our marvelous mechanic, whom I found by calling Oil Can Henry's and practically crying "Please help me! My car won't shift above second and we don't know a mechanic in this area," well, he replaced the transaxle and seals and refilled our transmission with fluid and Voila! It runs and shifts again. Yay! Plus, he noticed our brakes were very touchy, so he pulled those apart and cleaned them and now we have good, not overly touchy brakes. Hooray!! I like him. He's my favorite. Especially because they didn't actually charge us full price. They gave us a discount since we had to pay for labor and parts. Need a good mechanic in Lebanon? I now swear by Central Auto.

Now I'm just bracing for Thursday. Thursday around 8 a.m. I have to go to the doctor to have another test run, possibly two, then at 10 a.m. I have to have both Jereme to the dentist and the Mazda back to the shop (the timing belt needs replaced, and apparently the water pump). It'll be a very busy morning. I'm hoping Jereme doesn't need his medication on Thursday so we can drop the Mazda off on the way to the dentist and I'll just wait with him at the dentist. Please God. If that won't work then it's going to get a lot more complicated... Then after the hectic morning, we get to relax and go enjoy Jereme's Valentine's Day gift from me. I scheduled a private tour and wine tasting at 2 p.m. He's always wanted to go to a wine tasting so I decided to surprise him with it. Sunday I gave him a little homemade card telling him his surprise. He's excited.

For today, however, I'm being completely lazy. I should be doing yard work because I still need to finish weeding the flower beds and mow, but my right arm is still rather useless. That's my penalty for trying to avoid taking my anxiety medication I suppose. The muscles in my back all knot so I lose the full range of motion in my arm for a day or so. Although it would probably help if I actually put a heating pad on it... I really should do that. Maybe I'll do that now...mmm...and curl up with Titan and that show Jereme got me hooked on. Ooo...and the truffles I got for Valentine's. What a good way to wile away an afternoon and relax. I think I'll go do that. So long for now.

Thank God for Insurance

So for those who don't know, Jereme has these horrible debilitating migraines. He and his doctor have been working for ages now to find a medication that works and prevents them. It all started because his migraines became a daily occurrence instead of a rarity. He finally stopped telling me when he had them because I worry.

Anyway, back to today's shocker. Jereme's doctor had him try several different drugs, and listened to my hysterical rants (given through Jereme) when they weren't covered by our insurance, and recently switched him onto Topamax because his mom and sister are on it and it seems to be working for them. We fought with the insurance company a while back when the doctor tried to put him on a prescription that was over $100 per refill and insurance refused to cover it (and it was a generic!! the name brand was over $600 per refill). Well, obviously the first time the Topamax prescription was filled and picked up, I'm not the one who picked it up because to my surprise today when I picked up the refill, insurance paid over $250 for the prescription!! We paid $10.00. Thank God.

So our crazy insurance company won't pay $100 for one generic prescription, but they'll pay $250 for another. Who makes up this crazy system? Have to say though, at least they paid it and not us. Otherwise the doctor might need to go have her hearing checked after I yelled some more.

Now I just have to figure out why insurance isn't paying their share of one of Jereme's allergy medications when I'm almost positive they did in the past. Crazy insurance.

Oh by the way, anyone know a good mechanic in Lebanon? We went to Jennifer and Dane's for dinner tonight and had to turn around on the way there because the Mazda won't shift above second gear. So I have to find a mechanic tomorrow (on my birthday) to look at it and figure out what's going on. Hopefully, (please God) it'll be something stupid (i.e. cheap) and that'll be it. Cross your fingers. I really don't want to kiss our tax return goodbye that quickly. :(