Catch-Up

I'm a completely awful blogger I know. I realized today that it's been almost 2 months since my last post! So I really need to update but at the same time, this all hit me a few minutes ago and I need to go to bed as I have to work in the morning. So I'll try to make this fast :)

Of course the most important update is about and for the baby. We found out last month at the 19 week ultrasound that it's...a GIRL!!! Yes, all that time of me swearing it was a boy and Jereme was right all along, she was a girl to spite me. The teenage years should be interesting! But in all seriousness, it was a great ultrasound and she is perfectly healthy. Wasn't overly cooperative with the tech as she was comfortable laying on her head on top of my bladder and didn't want to move or show us her gender, but the tech was marvelous and crazy persistent getting our little girl to move around. The only picture we couldn't get was of her face as it was the last measurement to be taken and she had had enough and absolutely refused to let us see and just hid behind her hands. It was actually pretty adorable. But our little girl id certainly full of personality already. During the hour long ultrasound, she gave a "thumbs up" for dad right after he was talking about how cool it would be and then got exasperated with the tech trying to see her gender that she struck a southern belle pose with her hand to her forehead like she was going to faint. It was adorable and Jereme and I were laughing hysterically with the tech.

Picture-wise, we didn't get nearly as good of shots as we did at the first ultrasound, but we have a good profile picture where you can see each vertebrae in her spine, which was really cool, the thumbs up picture and the gender photo of course, and some miscellaneous photos the tech took while taking measurements. I must say, the amount of detail in the ultrasound was amazing. Because the baby was holding still, we were able to count all five fingers on each hand (toes are still too small), the two hemispheres of her brain, all the bones in her arms and legs...it was incredibly reassuring to actually be able to tell what things were and see that she is developing perfectly. She's still measuring a few days small so our true due date is actually probably three or four days later than March 23rd, but it's not enough of a difference for our official due date to be changed.

Now for her name, which I'm sure you're just dying to know. :) We decided on Adriana Pauline. Adriana because it's important to me that I pass on my Italian heritage and, as she won't be receiving my very unique maiden name, Adriana was listed as a strong Italian name (originally Latin but used more in Italy than anywhere else). Jereme and I had a debate after finding out she was a girl about whether to spell her name with 1 n or 2 (Adriana or Adrianna), but settled on 1 as Adrianna is the more common spelling used today and Adriana is a little more unique today and it's also the original Latin spelling. Her middle name, Pauline, was Jereme's grandmother's name which we decided to use after ruling out dozens upon dozens of potential middle names because Jereme had an epiphany for one, and for two, he was really close with his Grandma Pauline and we decided it was a perfect way to honor her memory since our Addie will never meet her.

Other than that, we've just been working on getting Adriana's room together and ready. We have the crib all set up and made and most of the furniture bought. I've managed to get a lot of clothes on amazing sales so the most I've paid for any one item was around $1.50 and even then all but about 5-6 items I paid under $0.50 each for. I'm amazingly proud of myself for that. We decided a long while back to use cloth diapers, thanks largely to a friend of mine's influence and encouragement. We have quite a few stashed already that I've gotten second-hand or at sales but we still need to get some more prefolds as the ones I have aren't very good and we definitely don't have enough to get through a day, and we need to get several more covers to go over top of them to make sure she doesn't leak. But we'll figure it out. I'm hoping some of the cloth diaper stores I've been watching will have Black Friday sales so I can add to my stash without spending a fortune.

Health-wise, Adriana and I are both good. Other than measuring a few days smaller, she's right on track for where she should be developmentally even though I haven't gained any weight and have actually lost over 17 pounds since I got pregnant. Since I'm eating plenty and making sure I eat lots of the right foods and take my vitamins, my doctor's not worried about it. She said it's probably a combination of my eating better than I did pre-pregnancy and a higher metabolism than I usually have. I don't feel like my belly's gotten much bigger, but I need to take some more recent belly photos as I'll be 23 weeks along tomorrow and even though I don't *feel* bigger, I know I *am* bigger because my stretch marks have definitely changed and widened (which no one but Jereme and my mother will ever see!). I'm also starting to feel Adriana moving around more, especially when she decides to stretch out and do somersaults.

We also registered for our birthing class this week. we start February 2nd and have class every Wednesday until the first or second week of March and the day after our last class I have a Breastfeeding class/seminar which should be really interesting and helpful. Jereme's started asking for a "Coach" sweatshirt or t-shirt to wear to class. Silly man...hmm...that would be a cute stocking stuffer though. Shh...don't tell.

It's interesting that this year is our last holiday season without a little one to chase around and play Santa for. It's a little surreal and more than a little nerve-wracking. This time next year, our daughter will be around eight months old. It's kinda scary. Our whole world is about to change in more ways than we can even know. Poor Titan knows something's up, but he's still deciding what to think of all the baby toys and tools that have suddenly overrun our house. It took him a bit to figure out that he doesn't fit in her swing (although goodness knows he tried!) and the crib is not his own personal dog bed so he should stop begging to be put in it. He's been a very good snuggler for his mom though and has been incredibly smart. He seems to be able to tell whenever I'm stressed or getting myself worked up and upset and immediately starts begging to be held so I'll calm down. He knows if I'm holding him, I stay much calmer and just cling to him. Which is good considering my anxiety attacks are becoming much more frequent the further I get in my pregnancy, but I'm trying to go as long as I can with natural ways for dealing with them so I don't have to resort to medication to help control them. The thought of taking anti-anxiety medication while pregnant, even the "safe" ones, makes me nervous. Anti-nausea was one thing because I needed the nutrients I was losing, but anti-anxiety I'd like to avoid if I can.

Well, this has turned into quite the long-winded post. I'll wrap up as I need to get to bed for work in the morning. I'll try to remind myself to get back on in the next few days to post pictures from the ultrasound and Adriana's room and tell you about my current projects. Learning to sew, planning a "family garden" with mom for next year (thankfully mom and Burg are going to do the prep work this winter and get the compost in as I'm not supposed to be digging around in it while pregnant), and trying to get my house "baby-ready."

Until next time, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Pictures!

Yes, that's right, I FINALLY took belly pictures. I meant to do this at 5 weeks when we found out we were pregnant, then at 10 weeks right before our first OB appointment and ultrasound and then each subsequent week I felt guiltier and guiltier for forgetting something important for the baby book that I'll eventually buy when I find a good sale (I'm cheap and refuse to pay full price lol). Now, before I post said pictures, a brief disclaimer. If you notice the funny look on my face, it's Jereme's fault. He kept snapping the camera and saying "Show me sexy!" and being a general dork...so I couldn't keep a straight face or hold still from laughing. But I love him anyway. Silly man. So without further ado (drumroll please!), belly pictures!

Again...funny look = Jereme being a dork. And speaking of him being a dork, the baby is just as ornery. He (we don't actually know the gender, but I really think he's a boy) steals all my water so even though I'm drinking like a fish, when I eat any fruit, I react to it. Last week I was craving salads and tomatoes and green olives and apples so lo and behold, baby takes all the water and my allergy to citric acid is now a hyper allergy and I broke out in my normal reaction in 7 places!!! UGH! But hopefully it will go away soon. I'm also getting a taste of Jereme's weird melon allergy somehow (maybe the baby's allergic and shared?) I ate cantaloupe the other day and my neck got all red and itchy. So no more melon for the Trinity :( That's ok, it's all out of season now anyway.

And now for the side picture, where you can actually see the start of the baby belly...

So this is me and baby Tadpole at 15 weeks. While I'm remembering to post baby pictures, here's the ultrasound pictures from 10 weeks 2 days:

And even though this makes me sound like a crazy mommy-to-be, if you look really close at the second one you can see his face and he looks like he's smiling for the camera :) See, our little guy's got lots of personality already!

Catch Up

Well, it's been a very long time and long past time for an update.

1. Jereme and I hit our one year mark. Some days it feels there's no way we've been together this long...other times it feels like it's been much longer (in a good way lol).

2. Mom and Burgundi are living with us now. They packed up and moved to Oregon in August and are living with us until they get on their feet and can get their own place. Mom started a new job about a week or two ago that she seems to really like so far, which is definitely good.

3. We're PREGNANT!!! We're 14 weeks and 2 days now and incredibly excited. We've started collecting clothes and blankets and diapers (we're cloth diapering) for the new baby and trying to figure out names. We've decided on a girl name but can't decide on a boy's. Which could be interesting because I'm almost positive it's a boy.

Tonight's dilemma however is the what-we-need-for-baby list. I'm trying to figure out what all we need for the baby so I know what to register for and what we need to try to get over the next few months before he gets here. Here's what I've got so far, let me know if you can think of anything I'm missing. I divided it into categories to help me keep track and try to think of things I'm missing.

Sleeping:

crib sheets

receiving blankets

crib skirt

mobile

heavier type blanket

mattress protector

crib teething guard

Changing

changing pad for home

changing pad for travel

baby wipes

hand sanitizer (travel)

wet bag for home

wet bag for travel

bleach wipes

disinfectant spray

diaper rash ointment

baby lotion

cloth diapers

detergent

diaper bag

Feeding

breast pump

bottles

nipples

pacifers

burp cloths

nursing pillow

Safety

baby monitor

outlet/power strip covers

baby gates

ear thermometer

nasal aspirator

Bathing

bath tub

rubber ducky

baby shampoo

tub thermometer

tub spout cover

hooded towels

wash cloths

storage basket for tub

Clothing

onesies

gowns/layettes

pajamas with footies

mitten covers

jackets

socks

carrier - wrap, sling, etc

Playing

educational toys (birth+)

swing

bouncer

toy box

Furniture/Big Items

crib

mattress

changing table

stroller

car seat

glider

high chair

Miscellaneous

moses basket

curtains

Jereme Has a New Toy

So when we bought our house and were getting ready to move, Jereme and I agreed to throw away our bbq as it had been rained on and used as an ashtray and generally abused. Between the rust and the broken shelf, we agreed it wasn't worth salvaging or moving.

Which of course means we didn't have a bbq for this year. Since we have air conditioning now, it wasn't a huge deal but Jereme likes to bbq and I love to let him since it means I don't have to cook!

Anyway, since I'm going back to school (next week! eek!) and my loan disbursal would more than cover tuition, we started looking at bbq's while we were at Walmart. We were going to get a propane bbq so it would cost less money to run, but Jereme found a bbq/smoker that he really liked, so we decided to go with that one. It's pretty solidly built which is definitely good and since we have a concrete covered patio, it should last several years at the very least. So dinner tomorrow night is on Jereme! No cooking for Trin! Woo-hoo!!

Projects...Lots and Lots of Projects

So I know I've been slacking in the blogging department lately, but this time I really do have an excuse. Promise. I've been jumping from project to project and trying to keep myself busy and mind too occupied to think too much. Some days I wish I could just snap my fingers and magically get what I want.

I've had some ups and downs and some days are easier or harder than others, but I'm managing. Jereme's being wonderfully supportive and trying to help as best he can when I have a bad day or hour. But anyway, my projects...

The first one I decided to tackle with part of our tax returns. I haven't liked the color of the living room since we moved in back in October. Jereme didn't mind it but I really didn't like it. It was an odd salmon, pink color. See?

It could have been worse, but I still didn't like it and wanted to change it. So I did. Our living room was chaos for about 36 to 48 hours, but I think the end result was worth it. How about you?

It was a lot of blue and I felt like we lived in a sailboat for a while but now that everything is back in place it looks much better.

Project Number 2 was creating something to go in the little nook that, as shown in the picture, pretty much just held a mirror and the floor steamer since we moved in. Now it's useful and much more appealing to the eye:

Now we just need to stock that wine rack and get some more wine glasses, preferably ones that match. I'm contemplating putting a carafe or a decanter on the top shelf so it doesn't look as empty.

And my projects don't stop there. When I finished the living room and started getting restless, I made a trip to Bi-Mart and planted the front flowerbed so the house doesn't look empty and neglected anymore.

I like it. Speaking of flowers, does anyone know what these are? They're in our backyard and I've been trying to figure out what on earth they are.

Then after finishing that flowerbed, my new washer and dryer got here. Yay! Wanna see?

Aren't they pretty?? I absolutely love them. I've been finding every excuse in the book to do laundry. I'm washing everything. But now, I need to go eat lunch and then tackle the garden because apparently I started the seeds too soon inside because they're getting too big to stay in their little sections in the planter and I need to get them in the ground before they start to suffocate each other. They're all growing really well though which is good. I'll post some pictures of my pretty garden when I'm done :)

The Countdown Begins!

So last week our dryer died. Completely. I started the washer and dryer and walked away, came back an hour later and the washer was done but the clothes in the dryer were still wet. No biggie, the dryer's been known to act up and I've learned to deal with it. Set the timer, press start...nothing happens. Press it again...nothing. Open and close the door, reset the timer, try again...still nothing. At this point, I was pissed. It was late, my clothes for work were in the dryer and it refused to start! Jereme came to check on me due to the slamming and yelling coming from the back of the house and made me walk away to calm down. He spent about thirty minutes trying to make the dryer work with no luck. He eventually gave up and unplugged it.

Then the "conversation" began. Do we cave and buy a new dryer? Can we afford a new dryer? Do we try to find a laundromat to use? Am I willing to use a laundromat until we can afford a dryer? Not really. Then we actually looked...the nearest laundromat is in Corvallis. Not okay.

So we ordered a new washer and dryer. I like them. A lot. Here's the washer and here's the dryer.

Of course, after ordering the washer and dryer, we plugged the dryer in and pressed "Start" to see what would happen and lo and behold -- it started. Of course. After I strung ribbon across the living room to use as a clothesline (we don't own any rope).

The good news is that at least we have a working dryer until the new appliances get here. Well, semi-working. It's latest thing is either never stopping (the timer is broken now) and/or not drying at the right temperature so it takes two or more hours to dry a load of laundry. But I'm dealing. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank God.

So...EIGHT days to delivery!! Woo-hoo!!!!!

Too Much Information - Not Enough Calm

So, although I'm relatively sure no one really wants to know what's going through my head lately, I'm going to share anyway because I've been trying to keep my head up for weeks now and right now is one of those times that I'm just trying to get through the next hour...or five minutes. I'll take either.

I've been having a hard time lately. Things seemed fine and a few people I know found out about pregnancies, but it wasn't a big deal for me. I was excited for them and looking forward to my turn and life was ok. I wasn't flipping out about it or crazy jealous, I was just happy for them and continued on with my life without too much of an issue. Then this month hit.

I fell like I've run into a brick wall. About six times. As hard as I tried not to get my hopes up, I did. Me, the girl who has never had an issue with her reproductive system (tmi I know) was three weeks late. Three WEEKS. And all the doctor would do was continue to have me come in once a week for a urine test. All of which were negative. Oh, and tell me that with my symptoms (nausea, vomiting, headaches, fatigue and heartburn), if I was indeed not pregnant then usually they would look for ovarian cancer but that I'm apparently too young for ovarian cancer. So apparently cancer has an age limit now?! I really like my doctor normally, but with this fiasco...I don't know. I'm still nauseous, dizzy at certain times and fatigued but I don't know what to do. Should I try to find an OB/GYN? I'm going to need one eventually but it's $40.00 a visit. Plus whatever insurance refuses to pay on whatever tests are run, if any.

Then through all of this...a girl in my department at work is apparently five months pregnant, an old friend just had her baby and is speaking to me now so I hear about him on a regular basis, another friend of mine just found out she's seven months pregnant...it feels like I'm surrounded by pregnant women. And it's so hard. Here I am, terrified that something is wrong. Something that could cost me my hopes for ever having children of my own (without paying a fortune for fertility treatments). Yet seemingly every time I turn around, someone else is pregnant. Most of them are unmarried, unemployed or with a dead-end job, and on birth control. How is this fair?! I know it's only been four months, almost five now, but after everything that happened this month...I'm barely holding on.

Now, to try to distract myself and lower my stress level, I'm jumping from project to project and just trying to get through whatever period of time I can handle at once, be it 24 hours or 24 seconds. Right now is one of those 24 second times...

What's worse is I've now drained the budget I had set aside for projects so I'm trying to find project that keep me physically and mentally busy without costing anything. Rather difficult when so far all I've come up with is painting, decorating the house (finally), and establishing my garden. Even scrapbooking isn't keeping my mind occupied.

I'm at a loss. And no one really knows how to help me. I don't even know how to help me. I keep being told one of two things: 1. "Everything's fine. Your turn is coming. Maybe this month is the month." or 2. "Maybe this is just a sign you aren't fully ready yet. If you're stressed about money and everything now, then maybe you should take a break and stop trying to get pregnant for a while." Neither of these two lines of advice are helpful or in any way encouraging. I appreciate the thought but in this frame of mind, those things are the last things I need or want to hear.

Thank God for Jereme. Through all of this and all of my psychosis, he's been following my lead and doing what he can - even if it's just holding me while I sob...again.